Appearances can be Decieving
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: Death was always something Badou knew was coming. He just didn't realize it'd all end on top of his partner in mayhem, and with a raging one to boot. My Dogs fic debut, woot!


A/N: I've decided, that for this, I am definitely deserving of a spot in hell, reserved in advanced. Okay, now that that is out of the way, we can move on. So this is my first Dogs fic, you can probably tell. This idea just struck me while stuck in the progress of something else, and it won't really leave me alone. We'll see how far I get with this. Uhm, if this royally sucks ass, break it to me gently, okay? I won't cry too much. Oh, and I don't own, Miwa Shirow does.

Appearances are deceiving 

In his line of work, Badou knew he'd kick the bucket eventually, either by stray bullet or from his obsessive addiction to the cancer sticks. The way he saw it, he'd rather not see it coming until he actually stared the fucker, death, the grim fucking reaper, ol' bones-y, in the eye (_blowing smoke in his face, cuz skeletor ain't gonna take him without a fucking fight, man_). That's what living the hard boiled life is all about.

This newest development definitely blew a hole ( a huge, gaping hole the size of Paris Hiltons cavernous abyss of a vagina) in his well-thought-out plan.

And the worst part of it was that he'd die with a raging hard on.

Right now, he was debating whether he should gently ease off the living, breathing (feral, terrifying, gonna rip his fucking cock off the moment those eyes snap open and realize what happened, and at the same time feel the insistent poke against his belly) human-ish cockknocker beneath him, or remain as still as possible (_isn't that what those dick-for-brains animal experts tell you to do when you're faced with some fuckall animal that's about to attack you ? Keep as still as possible and they won't see you? Wait, does being ontop of it count_?) and pray to _jesus-allah-budah-anyone _that the other male had somehow gone…into…a…coma?

Yeah, he could work with that, someone had to come rescue him eventually, and then….well, he hadn't gotten further than that yet. _Better not be Mimi_.(She'd gape, collect herself, smirk, and snap a commemorative photo, much to his horror_) __Or that fat ass land-lady_. Not only would she rant and rave, ("_You're going to hell for this, you-you-you faggot!" _Real original, but its not like he was into that kinda shit, he just got shitfaced, maybe, _shit, can we come back to that question when the memory crawls back, tail between its fucking legs?_) she'd remember, ("_Oh, before I forget in the midst of all this sinning, the rent is due! Don't think you can just dick out of it, you good for nothing!" _Pffft, to put it bluntly, the old crow could suck his fat cock, and even then, never see a cent from him, it'd be spent on cigs and porn if he had his way).

Badou lay on top of the albino asshole, face inches away from the other mans', (but just how long would that last, the deep, even breathing, until all hell breaks loose and someone looses an eye, _har fucking har lets not get ahead of ourselves_,) trapping the shorter mans scrawny legs between his own, arms beside Heines head, and _not to mention the ultimate boner, fuck, who figured he'd be turned on by this fucking psycho) _

Raising his head a little, Badou could see the bright afternoon sunlight gently filtering in through the dirty streaks of the blind-less window, (_Damn, anyone could see this shit…no wonder he got so many jobs)_ hear the birds chirping, everything was fucking dandy in the world, except, you know, _he was trapped, bare ass naked in bed, on top of a highly angered mutt, _and the fact that his ass didn't hurt, what that meant, was something he just, wasn't gonna think about right now. He was sweating bullets with the effort to _not think about it. _

The images flashing across his minds eye certainly didn't help (the question is, is it memory making its debut, or merely wishful thinking? _Arrgh, fucking sick) _fuck did he need a cigarette, _now, _his fingers, curled beside Heines' head, twitched at that train of thought (_Definitely not at buttfucking Heine) _

Speaking of wishful thinking, a low groan slipped past Heine's slightly parted lips, his eyes started to flutter, leaving a nearly hyperventilating Badou to pick of the pieces of his story (_Hey man, funny thing, seeing you here, in bed. What? You're naked you say? What a coincidence, through no fault of my own, I am too, Hahahaha…yeah, oh no, don't get up, I'll just locate my pants and flee the scene) _and hold his breath.

"Ugh, get outta my face, cock breath." Were the first eloquent words to leave Heine's mouth.

Badou scowled and finally, _finally, _rolled off the albino. "Your cock, zombie-asshole."

"Whatever."

"So uh…funny story, we were drinking and I guess I my dick just…happened to land between your legs," Badou began, tediously inching away from Heine while trying to make it not-so-obvious that he was searching for his pants, _where the fuck were they? _

"I didn't drink."

Badou, if he had any room for coherence in his brain (_shoving all the rotted-from-smoke brain cells and that annoying ass whiny bit aside) _would have laughed at the unhinged jaw he sported.

"Saywat?"

Heine sat up, raking a hand through his white locks and giving his partner a blank look. "I said I didn't drink fucktard, what, are you not only half blind, but deaf too?" (_He already knew about the streak of retarded that was constantly present) _

"So you let me fuck you??" Badou asked incredulously, single murky green eye wide in awe.

Heine snarled at that, striking out with the palm of his hand to slap Badou across the head. ("Ow, you cock!") "Fuck no, what the fuck do you think this is, some queer-o shit? If you hadn't noticed, I have pants on, moron."

Badou glanced down at Heines' lap, and indeed, the narrow hips were clothed in a pair of baggy sweats.

"Oh."

"_Oh_ nothing, there's no way I'd let you suck my cock, let alone put your tootsie roll sized prick up my ass. Don't know where its been."

"_It is not tootsie roll sized, ass lover!_" Badou howled, definitely offended. He leapt off the bed (_still bare assed and everything) _and pointed to the unfazed albino. "So why am I naked? And more importantly, _where are my cigs!?_"

Heines' line of sight traveled unashamedly down to Badous' still-hard cock and laughed. "I spy with my little eye a boner."

"_Answer the fucking question!_"

"You're the one that got drunk," Heine said, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and rising to his feet. "After that you started shedding clothes. You making a total ass of yourself wasn't my problem, so I left you to your own devices."

"I could have jumped out the window and died you fucker!"

"Again, not my problem. I must have fallen asleep, cuz the next thing I knew, you were all pussy-ing out, on top of me, thinking we fucked or something."

Badou sighed deeply, relief flooding his system.

"I think you threw your pants out the window though."

_Ohfuck. _

He took a deep breath. Okay, he could deal with that, maybe Heine would find it in his deep, black, charcoal heart to lend him some fucking clothes until he high tailed it outta there and back to his apartment, where he could get some fucking cigs, before he took out his displeasure on someone. Preferably the asshole in front of him.

"So we didn't fuck."

"No," Heine replied. "Why Badou-kun, you sound so disappointed." His voiced carried a note of teasing, something Badous' nicotine-deprived brain couldn't comprehend at the moment, since it only ran the thoughts _...didn't fuck Heine. Cigs. _repeating over and over and over, like a broken record.

Badou felt like a mouse cornered by the cat. Or in this case, one fucked up dog. "Think again fuckface, I'm thrilled we didn't do anything. I' rather fuck that tranny than you." (_On the plus side, that tranny, aside from being one, is fuckinghot_)

Heine snorted, unconvinced. "Your dick speaks otherwise."

Badou crossed his arms over his chest. "A guy gets wood at inopportune times. Being a genetically beefed up asexual asshole, you wouldn't know two shits about it."

"Ouch, that sure pegged my self esteem down a few notches."

Badou let out a short bark of laughter and turned on his heel. "Whatever, I'm borrowing some pants (whether you like it or not) getting the fuck out of here, getting some cigs and a hooker, and going home."

A grip as firm as steel cut that plan to shreds the second it latched around his wrist, spinning him round to face the owner of said grip.

"Fuck off, Heine, I'm leaving!"

"Think again cyclops, I waited all fucking night for you to wake up."

Badou could have protested (_shit, he wanted to, the rational part of his brain, if it indeed existed, shot out a warning through his entire body) _but he was just too curious, what with the images from before flashing through his mind, and _well fuck, _Heine was quite the charmer, tugging him toward the bed, grabbing his chin with the other hand in order to pull their mouths together, snarling, all _teethlipstongue._

And when they finally landed on the bed, Heine's knee shoving his legs apart, Badou figured, _fuck it, _he'd go with the flow, hold on for dear life, and see where it took him. Death was pretty much out of the equation. At least for the next couple of hours.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

…….What the fuck was that?! *throws chair* I raped it. Not in the good way. I didn't even see that ending coming. Damn, spontaneous. Oh man. I'm a MONSTER! So uh…feedback? Refrain from forming an angry mob and chasing after me with pitchforks?? Thanks.


End file.
